A plural of crises

April 06 – The pastoral text of Fr Reuter is this: A mother may suffer from her nine months of pregnancy, but when her baby is put in her arms, she feels, ‘It was worth it!’

Father, I just read two news items – and I have a personal experience – that relates to your text message.

Today, one news item is that our Department of Education (DepEd) is aggressively pushing for a sex education plan for high schoolers (William Sparrow, April 05, atimes.com). The DepEd plan now only needs the approval of the Presidential Council on Values Formation (PCVF), we are told. The PCVF is now reviewing the ‘adolescent reproduction health manuals’ for secondary schools, according to Education Secretary Jesli A Lapus.

The other news items has Archbishop Paciano Aniceto, Chair of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) Episcopal Commission on Family and Life, warning that ‘the government should not blame the booming population to the impending rice crisis’ (gmanews.tv). I salute the CBCP.

It’s plain to me that the sex education plan of the DepEd has something to do with population control, aka ‘family planning’ aka ‘reproductive health.’ And now they are using the country’s ‘booming population’ as the reason for the rice crisis, when it is a crisis of greed (some traders or their cohorts are hoarding the stocks), and a crisis of selfishness (some families or groups and their minions are buying beyond what they need), causing artificial shortage.

And now I must tell you, Father, that I am the father of children that number twelve, 12, a dozen – 8 lovely girls and 4 handsome boys who all take after their mother (they have only one) – and if there is overpopulation in these Pearls of the Orient Seas, I don’t have to look beyond the apartment we are renting.

Long ago and far away, when we had only about 6 children and our finances were down for (almost) too many years, among other things, my wife wanted a hysterectomy on her; a gynecologist would surgically remove her uterus – the womb is where a baby grows when a woman is pregnant – and that would be that. But I would not allow her; she needed her husband’s consent and signature to have the operation. I explained to her that, on one hand, a hysterectomy was a man-made invasion that the woman’s body was not prepared for; on the other hand, a pregnancy is a natural thing, and that the woman’s body prepares for that one final moment for 9 months. Wasn’t that beautiful? No Father, I was speaking neither as a doctor nor a nurse, but as a husband and father. I was speaking as someone who did not believe in the wisdom of the theory of population eternally overtaking food supply by Thomas Robert Malthus, even if he was a Reverend (Church of England). I reverently disagree! (And no, Father, I did not show this to my wife – she will kill me for it.)

A good husband and father

2007 April 01 – The pastoral text of Fr Reuter is this: A good husband and father gets more joy from his children than he can ever find in a night club, with a bar girl.

Of course! Father, if I may say so myself, even if I’ve never been to a night club. But it’s not an easy lesson, Father. I wasn’t a philandering husband or anything; I was a computer widower from 1987 to about 2000; years before that, I was a non-performing father, in the sense that I was never very concerned about what was happening to my children, how they were growing up, what they thought and felt about their father who was around almost all the time but wasn’t there at all – physically present, mentally absent. I was the father who refused to grow up. I was minding more my writing, my editing, my desktop publishing; I was always worried, though I hardly told anyone, including my wife, how I could earn more because I knew I wasn’t earning enough. After all, I had 12 children, yes, a dozen.

Then one day, a silent voice gently castigated me for being so proud and selfish of my talents, and for being content with what I had, what we had. Then I learned, although not immediately, to cast all my cares at the foot of the cross. ‘Take all of them, Lord, because I can’t handle them anymore. And, thank you, for another day, another morning, another evening, another rainy day.’

It took me years, nay, decades, to learn to be mindful of my own family, to be glad I had them like I had them. Not that I would say I am now a good husband and father, but that I finally learned to be thankful for everything. And I mean everything.

I think, Father, that the greatest lack in the world as far as marriage is concerned is the education of couples about to get married, about married life, about family life. We have the Marriage Encounter Weekend, of course, but that’s only 2 nights and 3 days. The charismatic groups could fill in this lack if they would.