I Thank,

Therefore I Am

October 8 – Fr Reuter’s pastoral text is: Life is a beautiful gift of God. Every moment of life is beautiful. Especially this moment, right here, right now.

Oh Father, yes! You’re 93? I’m 67. I thank God you’re able to write that, I thank God I’m able to write this. Years ago, I learned something. So now, when friends or acquaintances greet me, ‘Kamusta?’ ‘How are you?’ I always say, ‘Buhay!’ ‘Alive!’

Sometimes I forget, but when I don’t, I give thanks to God for the sleep I am about to take, or the morning I am about to greet. Another day, another thanks. In my Yahoo email (frankahilario@yahoo.com), my tagline is: ‘I thank, therefore I am.’

My photograph this time is that of a waste bag during Freda’s birthday party (courtesy of Dr O) at Immaculate Conception last September 29, Saturday. Folks, don’t look at the waste bag – look at the green leaves! See? There’s a palm growing, there’s a world out there to explore, to celebrate, to give thanks for.

The Egg That Failed.

The One I Didn’t Catch

Fr Reuter October 5 – The pastoral text of Fr Reuter is this: The one who falls, and tries once more / Is closer to God than he was before.

I thank you for saying that, Father. I take it that it is in the attitude of the one who has failed to admit that it was his fault and that he wasn’t paying attention much and that with his talent he should succeed the next time, if not this time – God willing.

I’ll rewrite that to say, ‘The one who fails …’ Take the case of this egg. You would think it had fallen. I was there when it happened – it was crushed by one of the ducks in there, perhaps the egg layer herself (it happened so fast I didn’t notice), as she scampered out when early in the morning the duck man tried to shoo them away from the hut to hunt for food outside. There are three who failed here: the duck, the duck man and the camera man – me. The duck wasn’t looking where she was going; the duck man wasn’t thinking; I was ready with my camera but I failed to anticipate the moment – it would have been memorable. The duck man and I will do it again next time, and I hope we’ll be better.

I Forgot.

Trying Can Be Crying

October 4 – Today, the pastoral text of Fr Reuter is this: God only asks that you try. If you try, God will make it happen.

I’m afraid I don’t have that much faith, Father, but I’ll try!

(I forgot – one of my favorite quotes is this: ‘Don’t say die until you’re dead!’ Easier said than done.)

I have chosen from my collection of photographs (I shot this along the road), the one that shows my own blue bike with its seat crying for attention. I didn’t have it replaced for more than a year, I think. Not that I didn’t have any money. I was deaf to its plea. It’s just that I didn’t think it needed replacing, until my daughter Jinny asked me to – she likes to ride that bike herself.

We may not think our faith needs replacing, but it may be that it is begging us and we are not paying attention. We don’t have enough faith.

Being Rich Is A Choice.

So Is Being Poor.

October 03 – The pastoral text of Fr Reuter is this: From poverty comes humiliations, from humiliations comes humility, and with it joy, and all the other virtues. Are you sure, Father? The poor you shall always have with you, Jesus said; therefore, Father, the humble we shall always have with us. Automatically.

But no, that’s not what Fr Reuter is actually saying. Look at my photograph – I’m a man down. I’m poor and I’m not humble; rather, I’m proud, very proud of my intelligence – and very angry at being poor. My poverty is not only in the lack of money but also in the spirit – arising from my love of wine, love of lust if not women and other such instant pleasures. The poor such as I we shall always have with us. Only when I have learned to accept my status in life can I become truly humble, can I become truly happy, can I become truly virtuous.

I understand the rich now, and I forgive them. I remember when I was in elementary grades, I saw how our relatives in Asingan, Pangasinan, in the sleepy little village of Sanchez, including our next-door neighbors, were very stingy not only with their praise but also with their fruits in their backyards. And our family could not borrow money from most of them. I told myself that must be how the rich behave, and I didn’t like it. So I vowed that when I grow up, I will never marry rich, I will never look for ways to make myself rich. Being rich is a choice; so is being poor. I wasn’t bad-looking, and in high school as well as in college, I had quite a few pretty and rich girls who kept looking my way – and I kept looking away, keeping my promise to myself.

If you’re so smart, why aren’t so rich!? Today, by choice, I’m not rich. But I’m happy. I pity the rich, including the stinking rich. They cannot give what they give without counting it a deduction from their treasure chest. They cannot lend any amount of money because they know the poor fellow cannot pay it back in a thousand years, no, not even a thousand days. They have chosen their own reward.

Praying is a two-way street.

Community Is A Two-Way Street

October 1 – The pastoral text of Fr Reuter is this: Prayer is a two-way street. You talk to God, and God talks to you.

I like this text from Fr Reuter for two reasons. One, it makes definite what a prayer is – a conversation. Two, it makes definite that God always answers prayers – but you have to be listening. And it could be a Yes or a No. Or something else. Praying doesn’t have to be asking. Praying can simply be telling.

My photo is that of passers-by and prayers-by at the San Antonio de Padua Church in Batong Malake, Los Baños. Some are talking to God, some are listening, some are busy going their way to bother about stopping by to say a prayer or two. Life goes on.

Of course, you don’t have to go to Church to pray. But then you miss community that way. Church is built of bricks; it is also built of people, which make up your community. Christianity is community. When you’re praying inside the Church, you’re acknowledging the community, you are thanking God for the community. When you go to Church, it’s an opportunity to talk to the community; it is also an opportunity to listen to the community. We might say: Community is a two-way street. You accept the community, and the community accepts you. Communing is a two-way street. You talk to the community, and the community talks to you. That’s God talking to you if you’re listening.